An abuser is a cad. He is a user and an abuser. And, worse, he won't even own up to what he has done and blames us for it instead! It is not uncommon for abusive people to be regarded by others as nice, good people. That is why so many people don't believe or understand when abused partners report it.
The abuser is always charming and wonderful. After an abusive incident, they are remorseful, and promise to change and pay so much attention to their friends. And then it starts all over again. This is called the circle of violence.
People like this don't change. We must understand and accept that. Any amount of care, sympathy, understanding or love will not change them.